Hope

It’s been a weird year. 2014 is almost at its end and I feel that I have not found my turning point this year. I’ve always thought that nothing can exhaust me more than last year. It has been a horrible year and yet I’ve learned to forgive and I have made a difference by learning to love myself more than others — that life has more to offer than a silly heartbreak. My mindset is not consistent of course but still, I am getting there.

As it is written on my Profile portion here on WordPress, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’ve been doing things this year that I have not done before, last year especially. Imagine an old rickety window suddenly opens a sliver of space and a concave of light shines through a dark room. That’s what it feels like. It’s overwhelming, kind of exciting but there will still be that weird voice inside your head telling you to do otherwise. Shall I peek through the window or shall I just creep deeper into the shadows?

I was not planning to post this in Public because for one, I have not been a fan of sharing my thoughts to other people. The people with whom I’ve confided with can only be counted by a single hand. And they only know 1/4 of my heart’s opinion. But because I’ve been doing way beyond my usual self’s perimeter this year, I created this new blog site (will tell you all about the old one on my next entries and FYI it was only published for my eyes only), which I can share with a few chosen people. For there will be no tags on this blog posts, guys. 🙂

So this post is my intro to this incredible new chapter of my soul. I’ve been following a Channel on Youtube and as I was browsing this guy’s Tumblr account, I found out that he has this shelf of all his journals and that he’s been consistently writing on a journal for seven years straight, right before he graduate from College. And I thought, why shouldn’t I start writing again, like literally (I’ve been married to Microsoft since I owned a laptop)? I owned a journal when I was in grade school and I wrote every little detail I did every single day. And as a normal youngster, my daily entry became weekly, then it became once a month, then every other month. Until eventually a few months has passed since I start writing a new entry. Then obviously you know the ending of this cycle. Come to think of it, I don’t even know where I’ve hid that journal.

Then I had a new journal on my Junior year in College and resumed writing. I started strong, as always, then I thought I can fill up the whole thing in a year. Until I found myself in a tight situation, which led to another, and then another. Then you probably know how that ended. Despite the fact that I took up Journalism in College, I didn’t have that push to finish the whole book. I wrote a lot of news stories, features, screenplay, radio scripts during College and I didn’t have the heart to pour out all my struggles and thoughts on a piece of paper. I had a blog back then and I have not attended to it consistently as well. It’s already seven years old this year.

I’d like to start a new journal soon. I’ve been infesting my Tumblr site with bits and fragments of my mind and heart. On a positive note, this IS a new challenge! Maybe I should start on January. I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions but this could be fun! A new leaf.

And because I have been active on Instagram and Tumblr, there will be no photos on this first entry.

(No links on this post either. Let’s keep it minimal, people. Hint: Links to my other shenanigans are on my About section!)

Hope